Ritual of Radiance: Self Love Practice

Self Love Is a Loving Response

Self-love is not affirmations.

It’s how you respond to yourself when you’re dis-regulated.

Somewhere along the way, many of us began believing that our worth is measured by how much we can carry. If we do everything for everyone, if we spin every plate, if we juggle without dropping a single responsibility — then we are valuable.

But performing strength is not the same as embodying it.

Spinning more plates on your nose while juggling multiple tasks is impressive… until it’s not. Performing tasks you are not resourced to do — consistently — is not healthy. It is not sustainable.

Every year, I take my sewing machine in for service and repairs.
My car has routine maintenance.

But what happens when our lifestyle needs service?

We take a vacation day — and spend it catching up on housework.
We take a week off — and return wishing we had more time.

Machines receive structured maintenance.
We give ourselves temporary escape.

And the difference is this:
A day off is relief.
It is not regulation.

When PTO runs out, the strain returns.

So the question becomes:

How can self-love be sustainable?

Self Love Is a Daily Regulation Practice

Self-love cannot be a reward we earn after exhaustion.
It must become a consistent, daily relationship.

Every moment is a new opportunity to respond differently to yourself.

To peel your heart off the floor again.
To shake off anger and regret.
To brush off perceived failures.

Like a toddler learning to walk, if self-love feels unfamiliar to you, that’s not proof you’re incapable. It simply means you are learning.

And practice builds capacity.

Gentle Truth

Self-love is a relationship with your nervous system.

I realized that for my nervous system, self-love was not just visiting a spa. It was immersing my senses fully in the environment.

Soft music.
Gentle water sounds.
The refreshing chill of a cold plunge.
The deep comfort of a hot tub.
The quiet moment when I could feel my body returning to balance.

Self-love was not the luxury.
It was the regulation.

Now that I practice self-love more often, it feels almost playful. I communicate with my nervous system. I notice what it responds to. I feel when it settles.

The more I listen, the more I connect — to nature, to people, to experiences. And in that connection, I feel something surprising:

The love I give myself begins to surround me.

Gratitude deepens.
Receiving softens.
Life feels less like something to survive — and more like something I belong to.

The Ritual: The Loving Response

When you feel off:

Don’t fix.
Don’t judge.

Say gently to yourself:
“Of course you feel this way.”

That sentence alone begins to rewire your internal response.

Remember:
No matter how awful you may feel — you are not broken.

Let the feeling move on its own timeline.

Bless yourself.
Bless whatever happened.
Bless whomever was involved.

And when you are ready, notice warmth.

Offer yourself a small comfort. It does not need to be extravagant.

A bowl of soup.
Warm slippers.
A soothing bath.
A walk in the park with your pup.

The purpose is not distraction.
It is connection.

Let the experience warm you without overanalyzing it.
Can you acknowledge the feeling without words?
Can you let it stay for one extra breath?
For as long as the last spoonful of soup?

This is self-love as regulation.

Claim it.
It is yours.

Practice often.

If this ritual resonated with you, you may enjoy reading External Love vs. Self Love on your next visit — where we explore the difference between seeking love and generating it from within.