Disclaimer: This post contains sensitive content which may include trigger words and discussions. When we are not afraid to discuss and accept our differences, no matter how uncomfortable, we can begin to heal our communities the right way.
I am his sun and he is my moon
I sometimes kid around with the idea that my husband and I are like the sun and moon in charge of nurturing our family. But today's post is about more extreme (and uncomfortable) differences.
Could you love your opposite if she was against what you stand for?
In my personal example, I describe my opposite as a mother who does not vaccinate her 4 boys, voted for the other guy, is against same sex marriage and abortion, lives in middle America, and born into an all white family. On the surface, No. I do not love this woman but I think that I could try to love her. Although we are very different, we are mothers and there is no stronger bond than a mother and her child. With that, I can begin to love my opposite.
Could you sit alongside of her in a deep discussion?
This exercise was very hard for me to complete. I had the worst time coming up with my opposite traits because in so doing, I risk highlighting my own personal views and alienating readers who do not agree with me. "calm TF down, people are way deeper and more open minded than Im stressing this over" We can all agree to disagree and still live on the same planet. Now that I found a glimmer of common ground with her, could we discuss our differences together?
I picture my opposite on a vast and almost endless farm with dry dirt roads leading through the woods and that creek she maybe experienced her first kiss. Her boys are likely named after their grandfathers and her husband works the land. Mrs. Opposite home schools the boys in their kitchen after morning prayers. She is a faithful churchgoer and besides her wedding ring, a golden crucifix is the only other piece of jewelry she wears. Underneath the surface, this mama prays her boys marry beautiful, loyal women who will carry on their family name; one day making her a grandma. She was born in a small town where everyone shares similar beliefs and that makes her feel at ease; a sense of tribe. Her home is large like her family which she would never admit is overwhelming because she finds comfort in her lifestyle.
I grew up in the church but as an adult, I stopped understanding the purpose of going every week. To me, religion is about your personal relationship to our faith. There seems to be holes in bible stories and actions of other churchgoers that simply do not align with the "God is Love" slogan so I stopped attending altogether. The conversation with my opposite will be challenging however, immensely valuable to my growth. Since I consider myself very openminded, I expect she would be close minded and not open to change. So she may be stubborn like me. I even looked to my astrology for the completely opposite trait of myself:
If my Mrs. Opposite is anything like TheZodiacCity.com describes, I would welcome a conversation with her. We can learn so much from our opposites if we get outside ourselves and our comforts.
Let's imagine for a moment, you are someone else.
Try to love your opposites
As this other person, we may have completely opposite views of this virus. We may dress differently, like different music, eat simpler type of foods, and express totally different political views. No matter how different our lives are between the actual you and the opposite you, what remains the same is you share the love with your friends and family. You would sacrifice yourself to protect your loved ones. It's near impossible to truly put ourselves in someone else's shoes; live a week in their life, experiencing the world through their eyes and mind. What we can all agree with is that we do what we do to protect our tribe. I pray that we can begin having more openminded, however uncomfortable, conversations that will allow us to paint a better understanding of others. It's ok to disagree but it is better to know whether than assume and create bias/prejudices from assumptions.
Try this exercise with your family and open up conversation about it. Learn how we can try to see past the exterior of another person and love them for their ultimate intentions.
How would you describe your extreme alter ego? Could you love your opposite? Please share in the comments below!
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